It was kind of spurr of the moment but it was a first time for Alison and I going to the International House of Prayer in Jacksonville. I just thought about the weirdest things the whole entire time. I liked it... I get some sort of high off my imagination.
July 9, 2010
-First of all I found hiliraity in that for the longest time a Kenny Rogers look-a-like was singing praise to God. I mean Kenny Rogers and his look-a-like can praise God but man it was all I was focused on for the longest time.
-I wrote down.. "Do I need to be more serious? Why do things appear to be serious all the time?" and then I opened up my bible to read a header that said...'It Pays to Take Life Seriously.' Humor much God?
-I was sitting next to someone who I thought was highlighting every single line in the Bible... but I mean the whole Bible is the living breathing word of God so shouldn't we highlight all of it?
-Then I actually wrote something more worth reading..
The Kenny Rogers look-a-like is singing, "Take the coal off the Altar God and touch my lips and purify my heart." I take almost everything literal. If I were to take this literally you'd have a severe burn wound on an area of your body where there are a lot of nerve endings. I'd forever have a speech impediment. I'd have to go out and make disciples of all nations with my hands. I don't have the patience to learn sign language, so I'd have to literally express the greates love with my actions because I couldn't express it any other way. (Then today I read Matthew 8:4 out of The Message and it says, 'Your cleansed and grateful life, not your words, will bear witness to what I have done.')
-There was another guy who went with us and I was sitting on the floor and he was sitting on a chair in front of me. He placed his bible and communion cup underneath his chair. His communion was on top of his bible and I was just watching him the whole entire time and thinking of how he's going to spill it when he reaches under there. So what happens when he reaches for his bible? He spills it and I thought about it.... What happens when we spill the blood of Jesus? I mean that stuff stains. Should we leave it or in consideration to uniform should we soak it up? I mean if we soak it all up it seems selfish, we should leave it for others to soak up as well. But we can't have Jesus stained carpets everywhere....
It wasn't all seriousness... in between these thoughts I also wrote down..
-Can anyone stand still with their eyes closed?
-Is wearing underwear always necessary?
-I feel like sometimes I might be being brain washed.
-I like to look at people's wrinkles.
-I want his shoes.. no not his.. his...
-I like to sit on floors more than I like to sit on furniture.
-Watching people is one of my favorites.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
John 3:12 "I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of Heavenly things."
This is a thought from one night where Alison and I decided to go to a different Church. It was obviously different but a nice change.
June 27, 2010
If I'm standing in between a baby puking up the formula it was force fed and a girl balling her eyes out saying so audibly how she wants to worship our God, where exactly do I stand?
June 27, 2010
If I'm standing in between a baby puking up the formula it was force fed and a girl balling her eyes out saying so audibly how she wants to worship our God, where exactly do I stand?
Son of David, Don't pass me by...
5-25-10
I don't like my testimony. The things that have happened to me I don't want to have to relive them everytime I'm asked to share my testimony. This morning I was thinking about how my ears don't match, they're just not the same. Would I if I could do something so that they would? How about the tiny scar by my eye from when I was little and I had chicken pox? I scratched and scratched until I received a scar. I wouldn't. Those are my mismatched ears, those are my flaws who make me me. My testimony isn't something screenplay worthy and it hurts to share it but it's who I am and it has made me me.
I don't like my testimony. The things that have happened to me I don't want to have to relive them everytime I'm asked to share my testimony. This morning I was thinking about how my ears don't match, they're just not the same. Would I if I could do something so that they would? How about the tiny scar by my eye from when I was little and I had chicken pox? I scratched and scratched until I received a scar. I wouldn't. Those are my mismatched ears, those are my flaws who make me me. My testimony isn't something screenplay worthy and it hurts to share it but it's who I am and it has made me me.
"I'll Dream in Melody.."
June 16, 2010
I had a dream last night and I hardly ever have vivid dreams while sleeping :) I had bought one of those big white creeper vans because I had decided that I was going to go on a road trip with the Couch Surfers I had just hosted. As I'm driving around the area around me is flooded. I get on a bridge and as soon as the road starts to curve, I veer off the road into the water. As I'm in the air I act quick and unbuckle my belt and jump out. I can't see anything but I start flailing my body because I'm scared and I want a helicopter to see me. Some how the bridge is low enough to the water and I was able to climb up a rail. There were people sitting on the edge of the bridge and they kept pushing me back in the water and they'd say, "You have to wait to be saved by the rescue boat, you're not allowed to save yourself."
This dream is kind of cool. Like a little scary but I suppose during this moment and now I still have control issues. Perhaps God is revealing to me that there are still some things that I haven't given to him. I'm still trying to save myself but only the blood of Jesus Christ can save me and I need to stop trying to climb out of the water and give it to him.
I had a dream last night and I hardly ever have vivid dreams while sleeping :) I had bought one of those big white creeper vans because I had decided that I was going to go on a road trip with the Couch Surfers I had just hosted. As I'm driving around the area around me is flooded. I get on a bridge and as soon as the road starts to curve, I veer off the road into the water. As I'm in the air I act quick and unbuckle my belt and jump out. I can't see anything but I start flailing my body because I'm scared and I want a helicopter to see me. Some how the bridge is low enough to the water and I was able to climb up a rail. There were people sitting on the edge of the bridge and they kept pushing me back in the water and they'd say, "You have to wait to be saved by the rescue boat, you're not allowed to save yourself."
This dream is kind of cool. Like a little scary but I suppose during this moment and now I still have control issues. Perhaps God is revealing to me that there are still some things that I haven't given to him. I'm still trying to save myself but only the blood of Jesus Christ can save me and I need to stop trying to climb out of the water and give it to him.
Galatians 3:1 Something crazy has happened for it's obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives...
I'm terrible at keeping up with this thing. For some reason I really want to share today so as much as I can type I'm going to. I write a lot of thoughts down so I'm just going to type of the random thoughts I've been writing. I'll date them from when I wrote them down.
5-3-10
I'm so annoyed but listen here.... I have a faith that I'm grasping onto more than I am with this annoyance.
5-3-10
I'm so annoyed but listen here.... I have a faith that I'm grasping onto more than I am with this annoyance.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
"God is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment" 1 Peter 2:19
This was one of my Journal entry's for one of my classes so I just copied and pasted it so the beginning part probably won't make sense. I haven't posted a blog in awhile so here it is.
This chapter is so necessary to where we are in this program. If I may I'll quote Susannah.. a lot of times we feel like slaves and not sons and daughters of our Lord. I think we need to keep in mind, "No one on earth posseses more authority than Jesus, yet He never defended Himself before authorities." I feel like a lot of times I'm frustrated and confused because I'm getting asked to do things I don't quite understand. Especially in my track time. I get asked to do certain things but because everyone is pressed for time they can't explain to me what I'm doing and why. I just do it and it's incredibly frustrating and I don't feel like I'm gaining anything. But in reality I am and God knows I am.
We're taught to stand up for ourselves but no one ever told us to take harsh ridcruel, this kind of throws all of the foundation of our thoughts out the window. It's so strange to think to bite our lip and not justify our situation because Jesus did not do that. Whoa... Jesus did not stand up for himself and he took it all for someone else. That someone else is me. We think of hard times as building character but never viewed it as a blessing."He uses it to set us up for a blessing." But we need to humble ourselves and allow that blessing to come. I loved this verse, "He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly" 1 Peter 2:23 It's hard to remember we're not of this world when we don't know of anything else. This is just temporary and we need to be treated unfairly and be broken because "a prerequisite for intimacy with the Lord is a broken heart." How will we ever truly know how much we need to cling to him if we have it all together? I think keeping in mind that nothing gets by God and realizing that he is the ultimate judge.
This chapter is so necessary to where we are in this program. If I may I'll quote Susannah.. a lot of times we feel like slaves and not sons and daughters of our Lord. I think we need to keep in mind, "No one on earth posseses more authority than Jesus, yet He never defended Himself before authorities." I feel like a lot of times I'm frustrated and confused because I'm getting asked to do things I don't quite understand. Especially in my track time. I get asked to do certain things but because everyone is pressed for time they can't explain to me what I'm doing and why. I just do it and it's incredibly frustrating and I don't feel like I'm gaining anything. But in reality I am and God knows I am.
We're taught to stand up for ourselves but no one ever told us to take harsh ridcruel, this kind of throws all of the foundation of our thoughts out the window. It's so strange to think to bite our lip and not justify our situation because Jesus did not do that. Whoa... Jesus did not stand up for himself and he took it all for someone else. That someone else is me. We think of hard times as building character but never viewed it as a blessing."He uses it to set us up for a blessing." But we need to humble ourselves and allow that blessing to come. I loved this verse, "He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly" 1 Peter 2:23 It's hard to remember we're not of this world when we don't know of anything else. This is just temporary and we need to be treated unfairly and be broken because "a prerequisite for intimacy with the Lord is a broken heart." How will we ever truly know how much we need to cling to him if we have it all together? I think keeping in mind that nothing gets by God and realizing that he is the ultimate judge.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Atlanta
Monday we left to go to Atlanta to help with the flood victims. It was, I don't even know because words can't describe. I was there, I saw it, I talked with the home owners and I still can't imagine how I'd react. I can't comprehend it.
I know this is a funny picture but if you look at the trees you can see the discoloration on them. That is how far the water went up. We were told the water was up at least 30 ft. Crazy..
The two pictures above are what we did all day. We tore people's homes apart and threw their lives out of windows and took them to huge dumpsters. One of the interns said it was awful that he'd ask the home owners something like, "This uh is your family photo it's water damaged but do you want to salvage it." And most of the time they just reply with just throw it all away.
These are what the homes looked like after we gutted them.
Some girls I met and some girls I already knew. Even though it was a traumatic time it was also a wonderful bonding time.
This picture was when we first arrived. This guy was one of the pastors we partnered with. He was telling us that we were one of the first groups to arrive. I was really confused to why we were the first groups to arrive. A lot of the people in Atlanta did not have flood insurance which left a lot of people homeless and lost. The pastor here told us a lot of people were so confused on what they should do that a lot of people ended up going back to their homes and sleeping on garbage bags. That means not only are they breathing in mold they're breathing in waste; sewage.
I know this is a funny picture but if you look at the trees you can see the discoloration on them. That is how far the water went up. We were told the water was up at least 30 ft. Crazy.. The two pictures above are what we did all day. We tore people's homes apart and threw their lives out of windows and took them to huge dumpsters. One of the interns said it was awful that he'd ask the home owners something like, "This uh is your family photo it's water damaged but do you want to salvage it." And most of the time they just reply with just throw it all away.These are what the homes looked like after we gutted them.
Some girls I met and some girls I already knew. Even though it was a traumatic time it was also a wonderful bonding time.
One of the most moving things to me was our last house. It was eight at night and it was dark. I was tired and I was ready to go home. I wanted to be done but we ended up doing one more house in the dark but lit up by two car's headlights. I was so annoyed but as we were busting our behinds I realized that the man who owned the house was sitting outside on his lawn watching us. He was an older gentlemen named, Mr. Leon. He was by himself. I started to think If we hadn't done his house, who would have or at least how long would it have taken for someone to do it? He sat there and watched us rip apart his house. Not just his possessions but his carpet and his walls. Throwing stuff out of the second story window and dragging it out into his front yard for garbage. How would you react to that just sitting there watching your home be demolished? I don't know how I'd feel. I don't know it's things like this that we do in the internship that make me appreciate life so much more. That make me more of a humbled person and become more compassionate towards people, because that's hard for me. The authenticity that we brought helped out a lot. And I think we forget where the glory should go.
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